This was definitely a head scratcher and a make-you-cringe-er. If you’ve seen Heat, The Insider and Last of the Mohicans you’d think, what the fuck went wrong with Michael Mann’s Miami Vice? If you’ve seen Colin Farell in, well anything, but especially A Home at the End of the World and Intermission, you’d think what the fuck was wrong with his acting in Miami Vice? If you’ve seen any Jamie Foxx film except Any Given Sunday, you’d think, well, of course he sucks as an actor, but why does he suck even more in Miami Vice.

For whatever reason, everyone in this movie could not fucking form a sentence. All the characters talk in staccato as if attemtping some new cool-police-lingo that could have been pulled off if everything else about the film didn’t just completely suck. I kept thinking, only ten minutes into the film, what makes a good actor go bad? Both Ciarán Hinds (HBO’s Rome) and Farell, both Irish, sounded as if they had trouble hiding their accents so they talked even quicker than the rest of the fast-staccato-speaking cast. Hinds hid his accent quite well in HBO’s Rome as Julius Caesar who is certainly not Irish. And Farell’s done well with an American accent in many other films. As for Jamie Foxx. Well, many liked his “performance” in Ray, but I didn’t find it too convincing or such a stretch. He was better and a bit more humble (at times) in Any Given Sunday.

As for the directing, the scenes were all so heavy handed and the cuts from one scene to the next were to quick and a bit messy. Mann was going for something that just didn’t happen. I wish I new what his goal was ’cause I might have at least appreciated the attempt. Not to say I would have continued watching the film, but I would have still appreciated the attempt. I watched about 30 minutes of this 2 hour and 20 minute mess ’cause I couldn’t take another minute. An action movie is supposed to flow, engage and if it’s a Michael Mann film, make you think (even a little). But Miami Vice failed on all three counts. If I were you, yes you the one reading this blog… As I was saying, if I were you, I wouldn’t even watch the trailer… Skip it! Burn it!